Cloud 9

I'm on cloud nine. I wish I could always feel this way. I am a fuck up. Maybe I'll wake up for once. Rescue me.

Where Winters Never Die

Things I thought I freed my mind of for eternity are suddenly reappearing. What's supposed to be deemed as bad has become, in my mind, ideal. The bad is returning.

It Hurts So Good

She lay with her face submerged in the pillows when she realizes she can't breathe. Her screams were muffled by her tears absorbed. The drugs come heavy, the drugs come cheap. As she pushes the needle into her fragile arm another time she wonders if the sun will ever rise. The raspy voice of Lou Reed and The Velvet Underground fill the opium scented cave, which is her room. She lay numb in a lithium induced state. She wants to feel again, if only for a second. She picks up the razorblade that she keeps by her bedside table and cuts herself. She cuts deep and long. As she watches the blood run down her arm she cries. It hurts so good.

Heartless Cries

Tears of pain roll down my face
With every word you say.
Why must you hurt me so?
I had so much faith in you.
You tore my heart in two,
Stepped on it, bruised it
Now it doesn't beat a thud of joy.

Fix?

I step into shangles.
They chain me up again
Up against that damn stone wall
I must break free again.

This time I won't be found alive...

Maybe if you leant wings to me
It would solve what you're trying to fix...
The unfixable

Don't waste your energy
The unfixable can't be fixed
Can't be tamed
Can't be caged like a beast

And you can't fly
Don't fix me.

Wilt Like The Flowers, Burn Like A Fire

When it gets to be too much to handle
And my world is up in flames
Will anyone be there to put the fire out?

This padded room is getting lonesome
The flowers wilt and die
You are so far away
Will the eternal knot come untied?
Will forever be the same?

I breathe you, I feel you
And still you're far away
But in the end it's only to be seen from the perspective of our love.
This life that we have, never to be forsaken
Forgive my sins, my faults, my tears, & tragedies.

Please, come into the light
Shining through the window
You're the only one that keeps with going on with this life
Without you I wilt like the flowers, burn like a fire.